Things You Love Now, But Hated as a Child


Remember when having someone brandish scissors at your head was your worst nightmare? Now split-ends are.
Your siblings.

The same idiots that you argued with day in and day out actually turned out to be decent human beings. Weird.

The news.

You actually developed an interest in staying informed and shit. Who would’ve thunk?

Finishing your vegetables.

Turns out broccoli is kinda delicious. CHILDHOOD’S BEST KEPT SECRET.The taste of alcohol.

I know, I know. You stuck your finger in dad’s beer to see what it tasted like and you regretted it immediately. First impressions are the worst impressions.



Family vacations

Mom and dad pay for everything while your sole responsibility is to relax. WHY DID YOU EVER COMPLAIN ABOUT THIS. WHY.

Receiving practical and useful gifts.

Toys? Coloring books? What the heck am I supposed to do with those? GIVE ME A GOD DAMN SWIFFER. GIVE ME SOME HAND SOAP REFILLS.

Dark chocolate.

Um, if by “too bitter!” you mean “TOO DELICIOUS,” then yes, children, it’s too bitter.

Talking about your day.

“How was school?”“Fine.”
“What did you do?”
“Why don’t you wanna talk about your day?”
“Because I’m an idiot child that doesn’t know what’s good for me.”


Remember when more than a single coat made you basically immobile? Now that my center of gravity has figured itself out, give me all the scarves in the world!


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