Irrefutable Proof Of Your Maturity!

Your houseplants are alive, and you can’t smoke
any of them.

You keep more food than beer in the fridge.

Six AM is when you get up, not when you go to bed.

You hear your favorite song in an elevator.

You watch the Weather Channel.

Your friends marry and divorce instead of “hook up”
and “break up.”

You go from 130 days of vacation time to 14.

Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as “dressed

You’re the one calling the police because those kids
next door won’t turn down the stereo.

Older relatives feel comfortable telling dirty jokes
around you.

You don’t know what time Taco Bell closes.

Your car insurance goes down and your car payments
go up.

You feed your dog Science Diet instead of McDonald’s

Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt.

You take naps.

Dinner and a movie is the whole date instead of the
beginning of one.

Eating a basket of chicken wings at 3 AM would
severely upset, rather than settle, your stomach.

A $4.00 bottle of wine is no longer “pretty good

You actually eat breakfast food at breakfast time.

“I just can’t drink the way I used to” replaces
“I’m never going to drink that much again as long
as I live.”

90% of the time you spend in front of a computer
is for work.

You drink at home to save money before going to
a bar.


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